In the Pink! Hetero Assumptions and Coming Out: A Queer Parent's Perspective

Why is a pregnant lesbian like water on Mars? Because they're both impossible! Or so the world would have us think. That was what I discovered when I was pregnant with our first child. Regardless of how queer I thought I appeared, the assumption that I had a husband was pretty well constant, making me feel for single mums of all sexualities and anyone else having kids in a husband-free zone. Being pregnant was like a compulsory posting to Straightland, an unrequested visitor's pass to the heterosexual world. On good days I pretended I was an anthropologist visiting a foreign place, where people talked about "hit rates" and "accidental" pregnancies and other incomprehensible things. Some of this was entertaining (hit rate: the ratio of sexual intercourse to pregnancy; who'd a thunk it?!), but the recurring assumption I was straight made my partner invisible and erased the most key area of my life. Plus it was depressing!