Victimisation is a traumatic experience linked to development of Borderline personality disorder (BPD). However, there is limited research investigating the developmental journey prior to BPD diagnosis. School environments offer an opportunity for BPD prevention and early intervention. A survey with 19 Australian family carers of people with BPD asked what they noticed during the person’s infancy, childhood and adolescence, and their experiences of seeking help during that time. Sensitivity was most noticeable during infancy; difficulty making friends, school refusal/truancy and being bullied were prominent concerns once the child was at school; and concerns about anger, moodiness and impulsivity were the strongest prompts to seek help during adolescence, though doctor or teacher recommendation to do so was uncommon. BPD family carers’ experiences suggest that improved focus on addressing bullying and communication is needed.